


Monster

by Howlingdawn



Series: Whumptober 2020 [12]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode: s15e14 Last Holiday, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:40:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Howlingdawn/pseuds/Howlingdawn
Summary: “Am I a monster?”Startled, Cas looked away from the show they were supposed to be binging. “What?”Picking at a thread on the blanket, his attention clearly a million miles away, Jack repeated quietly, “Am I a monster?”(Whumptober Day Twelve - Broken Down)
Relationships: Castiel & Jack Kline
Series: Whumptober 2020 [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949191
Comments: 1
Kudos: 49
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Monster

**Author's Note:**

> I started watching Cas and Jack vids and I have FEELINGS I am gonna miss these two so heckin much

“Am I a monster?”

Startled, Cas looked away from the show they were supposed to be binging. “What?”

Picking at a thread on the blanket, his attention clearly a million miles away, Jack repeated quietly, “Am I a monster?”

“Why would you-”

Cas cut himself off, remembering what Dean had told him when he finally returned to the bunker. “Mrs. Butters.”

“She wanted to kill me because I’m dangerous,” he murmured. “And… she was right.”

“No,” Cas said instantly, firmly. “She wasn’t.”

“But I _am_ dangerous,” Jack countered, looking over at him. “I’ve killed people, Cas. Innocent people. And… there’s no guarantee that I won’t do it again. That I won’t screw up again.”

Cas shifted in his chair, leaning closer to his son. “None of us have that guarantee, Jack. You, me, Sam, Dean – we have all done terrible things. And before all of this is over, we will probably all screw up again, and our failures will probably get more people hurt. That doesn’t make us monsters. That just makes us people.”

“But I…” Jack swallowed. “The things I did… the things I _could_ do…”

Cas opened his mouth, another rebuttal ready on his tongue, but he paused, seeing the unbearable despair in Jack’s eyes.

He recognized that despair.

So instead, he stood. “Come with me.”

Furrowing his brows, Jack followed him out of the bedroom, through the bunker, and upstairs to the exit.

Just as Cas had hoped, afternoon sunlight shone down upon them, warming them with its golden light after the old bunker’s faint pervading chill. A breeze rustled through the trees, playing with Cas’s coat, brushing through their hair. Birds sang with the joy of spring, squirrels darting across the grass, and as the door shut behind them, a fox bolted across the road, its russet fur gleaming in the sunlight.

“What are we doing out here?”

Cas only answered with another question: “Can you feel that?”

Jack glanced at him. “Feel what?”

“The sun on your face,” Cas said. “How warm it is. How… soothing it is.”

Jack blinked, then looked up. “I guess.”

“Feel it,” Cas told him. “Feel the sun on your face and the wind in your hair.”

Shooting one last glance at him, Jack obeyed, taking a deep breath before closing his eyes, tilting his face to the sun.

“And look around you,” Cas went on. “Look at all of the _life_ around you, from the grass and the trees to the squirrels and the foxes. Listen to the birds singing, and the bees buzzing, and just… drink it all in.”

Gradually, the tension began to melt off of Jack’s shoulders, a small, pure smile beginning to grow in place of his despair.

“Now imagine the humans all around the world who could be enjoying this,” Cas said. “Children playing. Couples falling in love. The retired enjoying their peace. And just think… isn’t it beautiful?”

Jack was nearly beaming now. “Yeah,” he said softly. “It is.”

Cas looked at the boy, his heart ready to burst with love for him at the contented happiness written all across his face. “Don’t you want to protect that beauty?”

“I do,” Jack answered without hesitation. “I do.”

“Then you’re not a monster.”

Jack lowered his face, considering his words.

“A monster wouldn’t care about any of that,” Cas said. “And he certainly wouldn’t protect it.”

He rested his hand on Jack’s shoulder. “You may have lost your soul for a while, but you have always had a wonderful heart, Jack. A few mistakes, grievous though they may be, can’t change that. You are not a monster. And you never will be.”

Jack leaned into his touch, and Cas wrapped his arm around his shoulder, pulling him close. “Thanks, Cas,” he murmured.

Cas smiled. “Come on,” he said, turning back to the bunker. “Let’s continue watching those people trek through the stars.”

Jack laughed.


End file.
